We miss you buddy.

We had plans. We had plans to picnic in front of our house once the snow melted so you could just sit and smell the air. We had plans to show you the flowers that were going to bloom this year for the first time. We just bought all those science food so your tummy would not hurt. We were going to install a new staircase and a ramp outside so you could walk down on your own to go potty. We bought so many weewee pads and even a diaper so we could continue to sleep with you on our bed.

We were going to walk more and more slowly to match your pace as you aged. We had created paths around the house so you could sniff things without being bothered by other dogs or people. We would have carried you up & down the stairs, and everywhere else.

We were going to buy the coolest and most comfortable cart so we could push you around when you were eventually too frail to walk, which was supposed to happen years down the road. You would have still been able to enjoy the outside air while we did all the work.

When the time came, we were going to spoil you rotten. With all the food you always wanted but weren’t allowed to have. We’d have driven you to all of your favorite spots including beaches. And in your own home, on the couch, on your favorite plush mat, we were going to ask the kind doctor to let you go gently while we both would tell you that you were safe and loved. We were going to thank you for all the joy you’ve brought to us.

What are we supposed to do with all those plans? All those doggy beds all over the house? Your favorite blankets? Our blankets? Our plush bathrobes that you decided were yours?

You just had to exist and let us love you. That’s all we wanted.

We are sorry about all the times you were ever in pain. We are sorry about all the times you were ever scared. We are sorry about every single time that we could’ve done things better.

We miss you buddy. We hope you felt loved. We hope you felt important. We hope you enjoyed the life you had with us.

We miss you.